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Defense Secretary celebrates Passover with slaughter of firstborn budget requests

By Rock Or Something

THE PENTAGON — Extra than one sources in the Military Chaplain Corps luxuriate in confirmed that Protection Secretary Lloyd Austin’s celebratory Passover seder grew to vary into Biblical when he swore to assassinate each and each protection force service’s firstborn budget query for the following cycle.

“That was as soon as some Extinct Testomony shit valid there,” mentioned Maj. Gen. Thomas L. Solhjem, the Military’s chief of chaplains. “He unleashed something even more unholy than boils and locusts: A flat budget.”

The bloodletting was as soon as swift and furious, as Austin slashed budgetary hopes between each and each blessed cup of wine. The Military took the friendly hit, shedding more quickly-to-retire helicopters than anticipated to boot to three new uniform changes. Acting Military Secretary John Whitley was as soon as devastated that infantrymen would settle on to suffer ‘pinks and greens’ for several more years.

Portion

“I judge all people knows the lawful of the Passover fable is that the Jewish folks will continuously persevere,” mentioned Deputy Protection Secretary Kathleen Hicks. “The Navy’s shipbuilding targets weren’t so fortunate.”

After the last blessing over the wine, the protection secretary revealed his most wonderful bloodbath victim by promising to decrease the when it comes to $25 billion annual suck-gap of ruin, mismanagement, and PowerPoint licenses. Not even the blood of the sacred Chief Warrant Officer-5 smeared on program effect of business doors might perchance well moreover protect the line items this cycle.

The Order Power budget was as soon as friendly spared after the Chaplain of the Marine Corps hid it in a basket and floated it down the Quigley to security.

W.E.Linde contributed Strive towards Camera serve for this text.

Rock Or Something is a getting better veteranist. Send alongside reward or MRE recipes.

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