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White House under fire over Major Biden promotion to lieutenant colonel

By W.E. Linde

WASHINGTON — The Biden Administration is below fire from Congress and a few contributors of the navy after the unexpected promotion of Fundamental Biden to the despicable of lieutenant colonel amid a series of biting incidents on the White Dwelling.

“There would possibly be nothing suspicious occurring here,” mentioned White Dwelling Press Secretary Jen Psaki, responding to a seek recordsdata from from Fox Knowledge’ Peter Doocy about whether the president’s dog would be “save down” or court docket-martialed. “Lt. Col. Biden is a proficient, true boy, and turned into promoted in step with established navy working dog protocols.”

As reported by the Washington Submit, the promotion turned into adopted by Biden’s transfer to a newly created purpose as White Dwelling liaison to the 341st Practicing Squadron, the Air Power group liable for practising navy canines for the Department of Protection. But in step with retired Col. James McGruff, a susceptible JAG prosecutor of “disagreeable” navy working canines, this circulate suggests a coverup.

“This ample comes all over as one other example of the navy rewarding wretched habits from ‘connected’ officers by promoting them to comfortable, low-profile place of work positions,” mentioned McGruff.

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Further including to the sense of concealment are a assortment of various alleged unprofessional actions made by the First Family’s adopted dog. Shortly after transferring into the White Dwelling, then-Fundamental Biden turned into reportedly noticed “ingesting to extra” from a bathroom advance the Lincoln Bedroom, chewing a gap in Second Gentleman Douglas Emhoff’s sports activities coat, and urinating on Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s sneakers at some stage in a fresh seek suggestion from. Most definitely most troubling are accusations that Biden inappropriately humped the legs of an unnamed Special Agent.

“Here’s a load of crap,” mentioned Workers Sgt. Duncan Seymour, an Military dog handler stationed at Joint Defective Andrews. “If he had been “Inner most First Class Biden,” his furry tail would were court docket-martialed and in a Federal kennel for half of these items, even sooner than his enamel were pried from that staffer’s arm.”

A assortment of senators, including Ted Cruz, get known as for an investigation of Biden’s promotion. “For the administration to promote family of questionable skills or skills to positions crucial to national security is an assault on an American tradition in opposition to such nepotism that goes motivate about a months now,” Cruz mentioned.

Lt. Col Biden, when in a roundabout arrangement reached for comment, spoke back to questions concerning the appropriateness of his promotion by wagging his tail after which biting the hell out of the reporter.

W.E. Linde writes loads. Passe navy intelligence officer, newbie historian, blogger/author at DamperThree.com. Strives to be a satirist, but presumably ample sarcastic.  Twitter @welinde.

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